First Love

Dear first love, I still know your name by heart. I can write it in the dark Like a wound, like a prayer, like a scar.

You were the first one Who ever made me feel seen, The first pair of arms That knew the girl beneath me.

I remember that evening, You poured just to make me smile, The candles kept burning, And we forgot the time.

You looked at me so softly, Like I was all you ever knew, And I swear, for one moment, The whole world disappeared with you.

And nobody will kiss me The way you kissed me then. Like goodbye never existed, Like we would never end.

Nobody will hold me Like I was made of light. Nobody will love me The way you did that night.

And I will miss you, God, I will miss you. In every room, in every song, In every place where you belong.

I will miss you, How could I not miss you? No one will touch my soul like that, No one will ever bring you back.

You were my first love, My first truth, my first fall. And now I’m writing one last letter To the one I loved most of all.

Do you remember the morning I opened up my eyes And found red rose petals Waiting by my bedside?

You never said too much, But somehow you always knew How to turn an ordinary day Into something beautiful and new.

Coffee by the window, Your shirt on the chair, Your laughter in the kitchen, Your fingers in my hair.

I was young enough to think That love could not be taken, That if a heart was full enough, It would never end up breaking.

And nobody will kiss me With that same holy fire. Nobody will lift me Then leave me in desire.

Nobody will know me The way you used to do, How a girl could meet forever In a quiet room with you.

And I will miss you, God, I will miss you. In every room, in every song, In every place where you belong.

I will miss you, How could I not miss you? No one will touch my soul like that, No one will ever bring you back.

You were my first love, My first truth, my first fall. And now I’m writing one last letter To the one I loved most of all.

I kept the little things, The notes you used to leave. The way you said my name Still lives inside of me.

I kept the memory Of dinner getting cold, Of roses on my pillow, Of hands I used to hold.

But love does not ask permission When it turns into grief. And I have spent forever Begging time to give you back to me.

So I folded up this letter With every tear I had, And walked the road to you With one red rose in my hand.

And I will miss you, God, I will miss you. Till the stars forget to shine, Till your name lets go of mine.

I will miss you, How could I not miss you? No one will kiss me like you did, No one will ever be what you’ve been.

You were my first love, My first truth, my first fall. And this is my final letter To the one I loved most of all.

Dear first love, I laid it on your stone. Beside the rose I brought you, Where the wild grass has grown.

I hope somehow you hear me In the silence where you are. You were my first hello, And my forever broken heart.